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Friday, August 30, 2013

Grandma

I like metaphors.  I like to see the parallels in the metaphor that connect with me in my personal life.  And I like creating metaphors that help me explain things, cause I feel like I make more sense that way. So my little thing for right now is actually not very little at all. It is pretty simple, though, and can explain what I have learned recently.

My little thing is a tree. Well, technically, a couple of trees. This picture is of the Quad on USU’s  Campus, and those trees have been there for years! I’m not entirely sure how long, but I know it’s close to 80 years, if not more. They are huge Norway Maples, and are perfect specimens of that species. And they are going to die.
I had a class where we discussed trees and managing them in landscapes. We talked a lot about these very trees, because a plan is in progress to tear them down. I was pretty confused until we learned that the trees are already dying. They have reached the peak in their life span, and are declining – fast. A large number of the trees have had large limbs removed because they were a safety hazard to the people on campus.

Every species of tree has a different lifespan. Some live for ten, twenty years, whereas others can live for thousands of years. God designed them all differently, and had a specific plan for each.

So, if God spent such care in his design of trees, don’t you think He would have a very specific plan for each of His children here on earth? Over the past several years, I have come to learn that He does.

My amazing Grandma Mary passed away a little over a year ago, the week before classes started.  She died from a cancer that the doctors could only remove once. When it came back, which they knew it would, they couldn't do anything. For a long time, as my Grandma struggled with this, I was so angry at the doctors who treated her. I was angry that they didn't do more for her. I was angry that they gave up so easily. I was angry that something so small could do so much damage.

Time doesn't always erase pain. For me, though, it did bring understanding. Mostly, I knew that I couldn't stay mad. I needed to have faith in God, and His plan for my Grandma’s life as well as my own. I know that doctors are doing all that they can to learn how to treat cancer and other illnesses, and some things are really truly out of their grasp.

This past week, a young man died at USU. I didn't know him, but I did mourn for his family and friends because memories of my own pain were so close at the time. I wondered about this man, and what God’s plan was for him. As I did, the Holy Ghost whispered to my heart that this was the young man’s time to die. God does care about us, and even though death is tragic and heart breaking, it is another step in the path to return to Him.

Another thing that I have learned in the past year is that it is okay to cry. After my Grandma passed away, I realized that I was also mad at myself, because I kept crying. I had had family and friends pass away before, and felt the Holy Ghost comfort me and let me know that they were okay. So why didn't I have more faith now? Why couldn't  I toughen up and stop being a wimp? I had faith that she was in Heaven, that now she was at peace and her pain was finally gone. So what was wrong with me? As I thought about this, a sweet, peaceful feeling filled my heart, and the thought came to mind, “It’s not a bad thing to cry because you love someone.”

How grateful I am for the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father! And how grateful I am for love, and the joy that comes from it. I love my Grandma. She is one of my heroes, and I miss her so much. But I know where she is. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us, and some day, we will be resurrected. This life is not the end, and it is not what eternity will be like. If we follow God’s commandments, we can be with Him again.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Little Thing #1

My name is Kylie Lawson. I'm not entirely sure how this whole blog thing is supposed to work. Do I just write down my thoughts and hope that that someone will read it? I have no idea. Ha! This is going to be a journey for me, that's for sure.

I've been thinking about writing a blog for a while now. Actually, it was a prompting from the Holy Ghost that this would be a good thing for me to do. I have felt over and over again that I need to share what I know about God and His church, to share how I feel, and to share the gospel of Christ in any way that I can. A couple months ago, Al Fox spoke at my singles stake conference thing. (That was when I was single.) Her story was amazing! If you don't know about her, look up her blog, cause holy cow! She is kind of my hero. As she was speaking, I kept thinking, "She's a blogger. Maybe that's what I could do, too." And ever since then, I've been trying to learn about blogs as much as I could. And now I've made one! Let's see how it goes.

The hardest part in making this blog was deciding on a name. I'm not good at creative stuff like that, but I wanted it to be my idea. So, it took a while. I decided on the name/title "Little Things" because it's the little things in life that are the real treasures. And to start, I'd like to talk about one of my favorite little things.

On July 6, 2013, I was married to probably the bestest guy ever. His name is Jordan, and yes, you can be jealous. And my favorite little thing right now is the ring that he gave me on our wedding day. It's small, but symbolizes so much. It says to all the single guys, "Walk away, this lady is taken!" It's from the love of my life, and when I look at it, I think of him. It's also a reminder that we are married for time and all eternity. You have no idea how happy that makes me! We will be married to each other FOR EVER!

And the biggest reason that I love this ring is because it reminds me of that. Cause sometimes, I want to be selfish. But I've noticed that when I think about what I want, I am unhappy. Like, a lot. But I've also noticed that when I think about ways to make Jordan happy, I end up feeling so happy that I want to burst! And I don't even care about what I wanted before, because I have everything I need. I'm learning that our marriage is happier when I am selfless, and do all I can to serve him. My ring is a constant reminder of that fact, and will undoubtedly be a reminder of many other things to come.