Sunday, July 13, 2014

Chapter 4: Acting

By the time September rolled around, I had become infatuated with, had my heart strings torn unintentionally by, and eventually learned to love Jordan Lawson.  He was the best friend I had ever had.  He encouraged me, counseled me, and treated me with more respect and kindness than I had experienced in a long time.  And I wanted to marry him. 

However, I knew that saying, “Hey, I think that you and I should get married, cause you’re perfect, and I prayed about it and I feel like I would be a good thing.  Whatcha say?” would be a very bad way to approach the situation.  From our conversations, I knew that Jordan would freak out if I was that forward.  Heck, ANYONE would freak out if someone was that forward.

Plan A: I needed to convince him to ask me on a date. 

Simple enough, right?  I can be flirtatious when I want to be.  The down side is I’ve always been terrible about “dropping hints” or even recognizing when a guy is trying to do the same thing.  I didn’t want to be blunt and say too much.  But before I knew it, September was almost over and it didn’t seem like Jordan was aware that I was interested. 

Plan B:  I needed to ask him on a date.

This mode of action would require a lot more – well action.  And that scared me.  I had a bad dating experience as a senior in high school and though I had overcome most of the fear that came from that experience, the idea of asking someone – even Jordan – on a date still terrified me. 

My dad gave me excellent advice one day while I was talking about Jordan.  He asked me if I was ever going to date Jordan.  I told him that I was trying to get him to ask me on a date.  He asked, “How long are you going to wait?”  In my mind, I thought, “As long as I need to.  God said that it would work.”  But then my dad said, “What if you wait for a year?  What if during that time the person you are supposed to marry meets you, but you are so focused on waiting for Jordan that you miss your opportunity?  You need to decide now if you are going to date him, or you need to let him go.”  What if I waited until Jordan was gone?  It was very likely that he could move out of state, because he was trying to decide where to go to get a master’s degree.  In waiting, I was risking letting him go. 

Plan B needed to happen.  And soon. 

The last week of September, Jordan and his roommates were having people over for dinner.  Jordan invited me and my roommates, but they weren’t able to come so I went alone.  During the conversation, one of Jordan’s roommates started teasing Jordan about another girl.  This roommate had decided that Jordan should date the girl, and was trying to get everyone to back him up and convince Jordan to ask her out.  I was furious!  Who did he think he was?  As I watched Jordan, I could tell that he was uncomfortable with the discussion.  It seemed like he was waiting for a reaction.. from me.  Though Jordan didn’t seem like he was interested in me most of the time, there were a few brief moments when it seemed like he was sizing me up, as if he was trying to decide if he wanted to be interested in me or not.  This was one of those moments. 

Shortly after, I left the apartment but had Jordan come out to see my new car.  I had just barely bought it, a Sunfire GT 2000 stick shift that I loved!  I seized the opportunity of getting Jordan alone to ask him on a date for later that week.  I was still angry with his roommate, which helped me not think about being afraid.  Surprised, I realized that my hands weren’t even shaking as he said yes and we planned when would be best.  We said goodnight, and I got in my car to drive home.  He said yes!  I was going on a date with Jordan!  I was so excited and suddenly VERY nervous and scared and I could barely drive my car.  The drive back to my apartment was short, but I killed my car at least three times on the way home.

Plan “Marry Jordan Lawson” was underway and though I had a limited array of dating experiences - I had never been in a real relationship and I had never been kissed - I was so excited.  With God's help, this was going to work out wonderfully.  

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