Remember that notebook that I gave to Jordan? It ended up being a game changer, big time. I'm still not 100% sure why, but something that I wrote answered his question of whether or not we should get married.
Two years ago, Jordan came back from the Priesthood Session of General Conference acting kind of antsy. He walked into the house saying that his car was acting funny. Dain, my older brother walked out with him to check it out. They both came back in shortly after to get my dad's help. (It was then that Jordan asked for my Dad's permission to marry me.) Then Jordan came in to talk to me, asking if I wanted to come with him to the store to get some parts for his car. Which seemed so weird, because Jordan doesn't work on cars. I had an inkling of what he was up to, but went along with his story. As we walked out of the house, he looked at me and asked if I wanted to go get a ring. Easy question.
We got a simple, beautiful ring from Walmart and called it our practice ring since we didn't have a lot of time to look, and we wanted things to be "official" right then. Then Jordan took me to the Brigham City Temple, which had just been dedicated. We walked around the grounds, then he kneeled down, poured his heart out, and asked me to marry him. I said yes.
It's hard to remember the emotions that I felt then. Yes, I was excited beyond belief. But even stronger than excitement was the peaceful calm that I felt, a feeling that this was right.
Our engagement was three months long. And, honestly, it was also quite uneventful. April, May, and June flew by in a blur. Pictures were taken, rings and a dress were found. Decorations, a cake, flowers, and invitations were finalized. I would have been totally content to let someone else plan it all, and being in charge of all decisions that were made was svery stressful for me. I didn't want or need an elaborate plan. I was just grateful and excited to be getting married to Jordan.
June 29th was the Saturday before our wedding. It was also the day that I went through the Brigham City temple to make promises with God and to receive my endowments. It is very sacred and beautiful and amazing. I didn't feel afraid or overwhelmed. I just felt that same peace that this sacred experience was right and true.
July 6th, 2013, I woke up earlier than usual. Amazingly, I had been able to sleep better than usual and I felt so calm. Before anyone else woke up, I curled up in a chair to read my scriptures and write in my journal. It was so quiet and calm and beautiful. Jordan's wonderful sister, Lindsay, came over to do my hair and makeup as everyone in the house woke up and got ready. Jordan picked me up and we were off to the temple!
Remember when I wrote about the Daughters of Light weekend that I attended? I mentioned that I had promised to keep the processes and the experiences of others confidential, to help keep it as a safe environment. Of even more importance to me is the sacredness of the temples of God. It is not secret, it is sacred and I will not share specifics of my experiences in the temple in order to protect that sacredness, much as I will not share specifics of my experience during the healing weekend.
But I will share what I felt. I felt with undeniable certainty that God lives and that He was happy that Jordan and I chose to marry each other. It wasn't an earth shattering revelation. It was calm and peaceful. I have learned over the years from being taught and from personal experience that peace comes from God alone, and no other source can mimic true peace. I had felt that peace over and over again as Jordan and I moved closer to marriage. It showed me that God approved, and was happy with the life I was choosing.
I was so happy. I was so happy! We had made it! Against so many odds, Jordan and I were married. And it was the perfect day! The marriage ceremony was held inside the temple, which meant that only our family and friends who had been through the temple to receive their own endowments could come in with us. Because of this, we planned a reception for that evening to which everyone could come. Even though I hated planning it, it was so nice to see how everything worked out to make a beautiful evening. So many people pitched in to help, and I am so grateful for their efforts. That day would not have been perfect without them.
Our story doesn't end after our wedding with a "happily ever after". That was just the beginning of our eternity together.